Pastry cream is a very simple operation but it helps to see someone do it. That said let's dive on in shall we? First thing, combine your milk, cream and sugar in a large saucepan, get it on the heat, and while it's warming, slice your vanilla bean in half, slice that half in two lengthwise, then using a sharp, short knife, scrape out the seeds.

Why a short knife? Because if you use a long one you'll end up flicking that little mound of seeds to the other side of the room. Trust me on this, short gives you much more control. Add it to the cream mixture and whisk briskly until all you see are flecks (individual seeds) floating around.

Now then, to the dry ingredients. Combine the rest of the sugar, the corn starch and the pinch of salt in a large bowl. Whisk to combine them like so.

When the milk/cream mixture is at the boil, add your egg yolks to the dry ingredients...

...and once again whisk until you've got a smooth, thick and pale yellow mixture.

Whenever you're ready, pour in about 75% of the boiling cream. Don't worry, the eggs won't cook...

Whisk it like mad:

Once the yolk mixture has been thoroughly incorporated pour the whole mess back into the sauce pan...

...and return it to the heat. In under a minute's time the pastry cream will thicken up nicely and give up sputtery, messy bubbles. Plorp, splorp, plop.

As soon as that starts to happen your pastry cream is done. Pour it onto a half sheet pan, cookie sheet or plate to cool. Smooth it out into about a 1/2-inch thick layer...

...cover it with plastic wrap and once it's cooled to room temperature, put it into the fridge to chill.

Now then, there's a big difference between a "finished" pastry cream and a "ready-to-use" pastry cream. This will firm up to a consistency not unlike leftover mashed potatoes:

but you want that kind of body for things like Napoleons and éclairs. All you need to do when you're ready to use it is put a quantity in a bowl and stir it until it's smooth:

What you'll be left with is a nice, thick and pipe-able cream, infinitely superior to JELL-O vanilla pudding mix:

Here's a pastry cream that I really like. Silky without being too rich, very flavorful and firm...in other words, good for lots of things. This recipe can be halved if it's too much for whatever you happen to be planning. It doesn't freeze well, though it will keep for a week or so in the fridge, giving you and your family plenty of time to eat it by the finger-full, which I confess is one of my favorite ways to enjoy it.

Pastry Cream

Combine in a large saucepan:

1 Pt. Cream
1 Pt. Milk
4 oz. Sugar
Seeds from 1/2 vanilla bean

Place on the stove and bring to the boil. In the meantime combine in a large bowl:

2.25 oz cornstarch
4 oz. Sugar
Pinch of Salt

When the milk/cream mixture starts to boil, stir into flour mixture:

5 oz. (10) room temperature egg yolks.

Pour 3/4 of the boiling milk mixture into the yolk mixture. Whisk lightly until smooth. Then pour it all back into the pot with the remaining cream. Whisk briskly over medium-high heat until thick. Pour into shallow pans to cool.