Actually…

…let’s try that again. I promise it won’t take me two weeks this time. I have all the stuff on-hand now. I’d rather do this right before I move on. I can always start another project in the meantime, no?

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Vanilla Slice Update

Would you believe a woman from just outside Auckland happened to walk into my house this morning? She’s a horse trainer (which is why she’s in Kentucky) but she also happened to have some professional pastry experience. What are the odds? Her verdict on the vanilla slices: not authentic but delicious. Her idea in absence […]

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Vanilla Slices (Uptown Version)

Is the vanilla slice really the chocolate chip cookie of Australia? If so, those Aussies are more sophisticated than we give them credit for. Granted most home versions are made with powdered custard and either store bought puff pastry or mildly sweet biscuits, then topped with simple powdered sugar icing. Still pretty cool though, no?

Objectively speaking, vanilla slices resemble both Napoleons and galaktoboureko, but in truth they really are their own thing. The commercial versions are, at least from what I understand, so heavily gelatin-thickened that they practically bounce, hence their nickname which I won’t repeat here for fear of getting more irate comments. While I originally thought I’d try to replicate that density, in the end I decided that just getting a custard layer this thick to stand and slice neatly was enough. But feel free to add more gelatin, those of you who prefer yours with a stouter texture.

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Today’s Non Sequitur: Tomatoes and Aluminum

Reader Glynis has early tomatoes and says she destroyed a few trying to oven roast them on an aluminum sheet pan. Her question: why does contact with aluminum ruin the taste of tomatoes? Love that one, Glynis! Aluminum is interesting stuff in that on the one hand it’s the most abundant metal in the Earth’s crust, but on the other it is found nowhere in nature in its pure, elemental state. The reason: because aluminum is extremely reactive.

Its reactivity is easily witnessed in the kitchen, say, when aluminum foil is used as a cover for a dish of leftovers. If the contents of the dish are wet enough to cause condensation on the foil, the result is a dark layer of aluminum oxide. However that’s child’s play compared to what happens to aluminum foil when it comes into contact with other metals like stainless steel, silver or iron in the presence of moisture. In those cases you get an electrolytic reaction that creates actual pits or even holes in the foil.

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Can you overcook syrup?

Reader Jenni asks whether a candy syrup is usable for anything else after it’s overcooked, i.e., once soft ball syrup is cooked to, say, firm ball syrup. The answer, Jenni, is that you can fix an overcooked candy syrup by simply adding more water to it. For there’s really no “cooking” going on in a candy syrup that contains only sugar and water. Proteins aren’t coagulating, starches aren’t gelling, fats aren’t breaking down, nothing like that is going on. Indeed when you boil a sugar syrup, as long as it’s below the caramelization temperature, only one thing happens: its water content goes down. Seen in that

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Conflict Resolution in Woody Woodpecker

Not being much of a fan of The Powerpuff Girls or My Little Pony (apologies to any bronies in the audience), I feed the girls on a steady diet of classic cartoons come Saturday morning. Looney Tunes primarily, though we also have a few mixed disks containing 20th century Saturday morning staples like Casper the Friendly Ghost, Felix the Cat etc.. If you’re going to watch cartoons, is my thinking, it might as well be the good stuff.

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Heard the one about Churchill, Mountbatten and the bathtub?

So asks reader Will, an engineer who’s evidently familiar with the story of pykrete. He’s referring to a story, almost certainly made up, about Churchill’s first, er…exposure to the material. It’s said that one day in early 1943 Lord Mountbatten showed up unexpectedly at Churchill’s country home carrying a mysterious box. Informed that the prime […]

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How long does it take for pykrete to melt?

…asks reader Jason. That’s an excellent question and I confess I don’t know the answer. I understand that different types of wood have different insulating properties once they’re pulped and frozen. What I do know is that the prototype pykrete ship that was made in Canada in the spring of 1943 stayed frozen all summer […]

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Vanilla Slice (Uptown Version) Recipe

I’ve agonized a bit over this I must confess. There’s always pressure when you’re taking on a cultural icon…especially one you’ve never tasted. The filling of a vanilla slice bears an uncanny resemblance to pastry cream, only it’s often thickened to a rubbery degree. Some recipes I’ve seen call for up to a cup of cornstarch (in only three cups of liquid). That, to me, is a starch monstrosity. So my plan is to thicken a relatively thin pastry cream with gelatin in an attempt to achieve the starchy-rubbery consistency the appears to define a “snot block”. So here’s what I propose:

about 16 ounces puff pastry, store bought or home made
1 recipe pastry cream
3 teaspoons powdered gelatin
1 recipe poured fondant
simple syrup

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