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Now me, I see a sloth.

What does that say about my personality? Portuguese sailors, when they stared at these germination pores, saw either a monkey or a sort of hobgoblin, depending on who you listen to, which is why they called it “coco”. The Sanskrit word for coconut, so I’m told, is kalpa vriksha, which roughly translates to “everything you need in life”, which is pretty much true. The nut alone provides food, drink, cooking fat, fuel to cook with (shells and husks), and serving bowls. Coconut trees can be used for house construction, thatch from the leaves can be used for roofing, fibers for mats, rope, brooms, brushes and baskets. Those are some seriously handy trees.

No wonder the Professor on Gilligan’s Island was able to make so many useful things out of them. I remember one episode where he made a transistor radio. And then there was the time Mr. Howell was having a lot of unexplained headaches, and the Professor built him a coconut shell MRI machine. Or anyway I’m pretty sure that’s how that one went.

Did you know that coconut water can be used as IV fluid? It’s true. The roots of the tree can be used to make clothing dye, tooth brushes and mouthwash. The meat and water can be made into laxatives and curatives for heart conditions, fevers and bladder problems. The oil is an antimicrobial, and it’s also great for things like skin lotion and soap. Then there are all the culinary uses, which we’ll get into later.

Too bad they won’t grow here in Kentucky. But there simply isn’t enough humidity. Which is why the coconut tree doesn’t grow anywhere north of the about the 33rd parallel…the same latitude as Roswell, New Mexico, also the pyramids, the city of Atlantis, and the site of the JFK assassination. Coincidence? I think not!

Oh Lord, where was I going with this post? Garçon! More coffee! Quickly!

But yeah…sloth nut…I could see that catching on…

UPDATE: Yes, reader Samantha, all that about the 33rd Parallel is true. Would I lie to you? Look it up!

2 thoughts on “Now me, I see a sloth.”

  1. My son used to live in the north west of Australia, where there were coconut trees in everyone’s yard. No one ate the things! They just fell on the ground and sat there.

    1. It’s the same in Florida where my parents have a place. Though the township has a crew that comes arounds and cuts the fruit off the ones near the streets, so they don’t fall and hit anybody. What they do with the harvested nuts I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure they don’t take them home and make pie. What a waste!

      Cheers,

      – Joe

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