By popular demand: chocolate chip cookies

Due to an overwhelming number of recent requests (eight) for solutions to chocolate chip cookie problems, I am once again preempting my regular request list. How to explain the recent influx of questions — from as close as Indianapolis to as far away as Indonesia and Israel — other than there’s some sort of disturbance in the universal chocolate chip cookie energy field. Rest assured, Joe is here to help, and all will be put to rights very, very soon.