Let’s begin with a pronunciation lesson.

They’re pronounced PAST-ee, not PASTE-ee. That’s something even my TV culinary hero, Alton Brown, got wrong when he did a show on pocket pies a few years back. And Lord was I embarrassed for the poor guy. PASTE-ees are little discs with tassels that exotic dancers wear on their upper parts and twirl in various directions. So I’m told. By people who’ve been to places like that. And whom I don’t at all respect. Honey.

What was I talking about again?